Past? Done. Present? Working on it. Future? Getting there.

Last night, as I slugged into bed three quarters asleep, I heard my phone ching. Dragging my hand from under my soft pillow and squinting in the foreign light, I looked at the message my best friend from the northern hemisphere had sent me...

"I might be moving again."

You may think: oh what's the big deal? It won't make a difference, you guys aren't even in the same hemisphere anyway, what's the big deal for you. But yes, this meager little statement woke my mind, brain, eyes, and heart. I'm very observant, so I saw that and thought she would've just brought it up in a conversation if she was just moving around the corner or to a different suburb, and it was 11.30pm a time she usually tells me to go to bed and refuses any less, and, the last thing, she kept it simple; too simple. There was no laughing, no "oh well", nothing just tension.

She then tells me that she's moving to California. This means:

1. There's no longer a 1 or 2 hour difference, it's now 10 hours.
2. Skyping will be a bitch and we can't just go to eachother when we need the other.
3. She's now going to be in a new place (sure she's vacationed there) and able to drive.
4. When she can't come to me, she'll turn to someone else and vice versa, time zones will be our enemy.

And there's many more silly excuses why I don't want her to go. Although, I want her to go:

• She'll get a much better education (no offense wales, but you suck).
• She'll be happier in the sun.
• She loves America and wanted to retire there anyway.
• I know it's where she belongs, even though she was born here, grew up in Wales, returned and returned once again back to Wales, she deserves to be American.

(If I'm sounding cheesy please virtually slap me)

So as I almost cried myself to sleep I remembered when I had said the university I wanted to go to, she chose to pursue that aswell. It wasn't something she had to think about, she just wanted it too.

The next day, the ENTIRE day, I learnt all that I could about the University of California. Everything looked amazing until i looked at the fees, oh my torn cows bum! My sister is currently at university and her fees come up to less than R 20'ooo but these fees for UC +insert scared face+ are just over $31'ooo which comes up to a lovely R 210'ooo. 

I felt like crying.. why the hell is america so expensive!!! I could never figure out why american parents were always scared for paying for college!!!

Well this morning, while procrastinating getting up out of bed, I realised that since I was born my parents have been managing a savings account for when I'm 18 and have to buy a car! So if I use that money for UniCa fees instead - I won't need to buy a car as I won't be driving it in SA anyway - then I can afford to go there! I can work a student job after class and over the summer holidays and I''ll have a loving family over there! Its perfect.. Except for one thing, my family over here.

They won't be too impressed if I just get up and leave em behind...

But first, to find out for sure that she is going then where she's going and if I'm still welcome into their family..
And people on't believe me when I say I overthink things.

Monday Blues

The sadness and sheer desperation when you wake up Monday morning and find that you're at the same stale desk, doing the same mundane task AND YOU HATE IT!

So why do you do it? Why did you chose a career that you hate? Don't hate the world because YOU made the wrong decision.

Sometimes you don't get a choice though. maybe you're still a minor that has to go to school. Be grateful. There are so many children out there that are: child slaves, factory workers, innocent prostitutes, virgin wives, guerrilla fighters and most saddening - to me at least - there are children out there that are struggling to stay alive everyday because of malnutrition, dehydration and famine and the last thing they'll ever receive is an education.

In my country - and perhaps more worldwide - the families that have 2 or more children and only one pair of shoes. The education is free but they arent allowed to arrive at school without proper uniform and unfortunately they have to take turns in wearing the shoes so that they might go to school.

In South Africa, we have a growing nation full of young leaders that thrive on the kinds of opportunities we get. I recently had the opportunity to meet a group of a dozen students from our poorer districts that, after years of struggling with a lack of money for a full education at university, they've been given the opportunity to study medicine in Cuba. The faces of proud parents and overwhelmed students that have never seen an airport before let alone a different country. It was life changing.

The fact that you're reading this blog already tells me that you have enough money to explore the internet and at leisure which should mean that you can afford atleast two pairs of shoes and you can also read which is more than alot of african COUNTRIES!!! Yes whole countries will go without even primary education.

Feeling guilty yet? I hope so. Next time you have the MondayBlues because you have to go to work for a living, think about those thousands of people that would die to be in your shoes...

Toms Shoes: one for one